My goal was to be 133 pounds today; I was 134.8.
This is only the battle, however, it is not losing the war. What you do after missing a goal is very important. What attitude will you take? You could fall into a victim role and say you tried everything you could (probably a cop-out), you could give up all together, or you can focus on what you did right. Missing a goal doesn’t mean it is the end; it just means that you need to refocus, try some new things, and keep marching on. Despite missing my first goal, there are many positives to the last couple of weeks.
I still look smokin’ hot—- I might be biased, but that is how I see myself (nope, it is a fact). Yes, there are parts I am still working on. Yes, I can still get leaner. Yes, I really want real abs. But, I do look good and I have fought for the 50+ pounds that I have already lost. Remember how far you have come and really think about what you LOVE about yourself. I love the definition in my arms and legs now. My stomach is so much flatter. My face is no longer a chipmunk!
I ordered some medium dressy shorts online. They are too big— which is awesome, but annoying. The waistband sags just slightly… still, medium size clothes are baggy now! That is a huge positive. Sometimes (all the time) I have a hard time seeing new self. I still have the perception that I am really really big, so putting on a size 4 or seeing mediums hanging off of me has been helpful. This is in contradiction to the previous paragraph… but that is why it is so important to remember that you are beautiful, hot, and look great. Keep reminding yourself of this. Body dysmorphia is common in weight loss, but I think that it a topic for another day.
I am losing weight. On April 1 I was 136. I have lost a bit over a pound, and that is still loss! Although I had lofty goals, losing half a pound a week is considered true and sustainable weight loss. The important thing is that the number is getting closer to my end goal. It is also good to remember (but DO NOT lean on this as an excuse.. victim..) that the less weight you have to lose the harder it will be. I was pulling a pound or more every week at the height of my weight loss, but now my body doesn’t have as much excess. This is why I can’t get away with as much as I could before. Just because it is harder, that doesn’t mean I can’t push my body to lose those pounds. The last 5-10 pounds are often the hardest… hard isn’t impossible though.
Where to go from here
I know exactly why I missed this check point. Last week I was 132… twice. On Saturday I went to a birthday party. It was worth it, but the fact is you can’t drink an entire bottle of wine (among other things) and expect to meet your goals. It was a long and fun day filled with excess. All week I have been trying to catch up. As Mexico gets closer, I am going to HAVE to be more strict. There are sacrifices that must be made. My semester is wrapping up, so I won’t be going out much anyway. That works out nicely.
Of course you need to still have fun. This is why I am staying positive, owning up to my decisions, and moving forward. I had not seen those friends in awhile and I wanted to go buck-wild! Do it. Just remember that your body keeps track of everything you do… and “cheat days” aren’t real.
My next checkpoint is April 29. I am hoping to be 131, but it will take a lot of discipline. The only thing standing in my way is myself…. but to hit such a (now) dramatic drop in two weeks I am going to have to be extremely focused. Honestly, I don’t know if my head is in the game or if I want to try that hard. On April 29 I will be reevaluating my plan and really thinking about my long-term goals. I will look good in Mexico on May 22, no matter what.